how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
