This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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