Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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