nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
