we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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