No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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