she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
