So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
