Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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