yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
