i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
