a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
