entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize