she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
