And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
