oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
