Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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