I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
