I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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