I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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