When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
