Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
