At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
