The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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