Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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