OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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