Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
