I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
