I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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