Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
why is half of my head shaved?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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