help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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