fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I will pee on everything he values.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
