ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
