You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
