3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have aggressive nipples.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
