I have demons in me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize