i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize