I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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