She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
