Duck Duck Cougar?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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