kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
