somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
