She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I am available for nakedness
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize