Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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