So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
