'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
