THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
