I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
