You're a womanizer and a bitch.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
