Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
