So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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