problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Jerry, you need to find god
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize