she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
