she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
