oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
