Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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