I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
