Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
