Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
