brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
