i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
pop tarts are not kleenex
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
