i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
