I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
