Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
