Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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