found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
bring money and cleavage
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So. Much. Porn.
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