all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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