God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
