Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
