were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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