I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
