She said her name was "party"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
