My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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