I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
