I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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