If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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