sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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