Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
