did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
