He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
