Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
