He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
