You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
