Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
